lumps, neck surgery and, . . . hairy backs?

I have had a lump on my neck for two months. I finally had an ultrasound to determine what it is and have seen an ENT doctor.

It turns out that I have a f-ing huge nodule (almost 5cm) on the left side of my thyroid and a bunch of little ones on the right side of my thyroid.

Well here is the story. S and I goto the doctor in Lakewood yesterday. We walked in to the tiny waiting room and it is PACKED with maybe 10 people. I sign in and we squeez into two little chairs. The first thing we see- a HUGE, F-ING HUGE poster of a man with a hairy back that proudly proclaims, "Lazer Hair Removal here, see the receptionist." W T F!

Second thing, a screaming, noise making child. Need I say more.

So after waiting about 15 minutes and knowing there are a least 3 people ahead of me, I ask the oh-so-cheerful receptionist, " Does the doctor normally run late, or did something happen?"
"It just depends on the patients," she says.
"So a 30 minutes late is normal then, huh. I just wanted to know for future reference. So I don't have to be on time for my next appointment." I walk away.

At 4:30 we are shown into a small exam room. The nurse asks me a few questions and then the doc comes in. He asks me the same freaking questions. Don't they talk to each other?

Anyway. He says that I need to have a needle aspiration in the lump to rule out cancer- but it needs to come out anyway. So, I can skip the aspiration. W T F? Neck Surgery, ladies and gentleman. A 3 inch scar on my neck. Three more weeks off of work. Well, he kind of doesn't make sense and is seeming overly aggressive.

I went home and promptly googled. Even though it is a large lump, and that alone is suspicious, most lumps are not cancerous. All the websites I read said to do a needle aspiration first, and have blood work done to check my thyroid functions (which hasn't been done yet and which, by the way, may be a cause of infertility). Most lumps do not have to be removed unless they cause pain, discomfort or other hormonal issues.

S has a lovely cousin who is an oncologist. She immediately calls him, and he says, "Needle aspiration and SECOND OPINION!" Which we both totally agree with. I will not be seeing the hairy back doctor.

Hairy back, indeed.