Thursday, September 18, 2008

First Grade it H-A-R-D

So I have been teaching FIRST GRADE for 12 days today. It is a lot harder than 2nd grade! The kids are so little, and squirrelly and chatty! This was a really difficult kindergarten class, so I was prepared for a challenge, but who prepares for this:

Setting: Imagine if you will, a hot blacktop with 400 children mulling about. Some eating, some going out to play and some coming in from playing to use the restroom. Imagine sweat, heat, and overwhelming smell of school pizza.

A child from another class: Ms. P, a boy in your class just peed on the floor.

Teacher: Where? What? Huh?

Child: That boy. He peed on the floor.

Teacher: Huh? Peed? Joey? (Names have been changed to protect the innocent)
(Teacher scurries over to the boys restroom and calls Joey out, not quite able to believe he peed on the floor. And even if he did. . . why would he admit it)

Teacher: Joey, come here. Did you just pee on the floor?

Joey: Yes. In the hole. (makes a hole gesture with his hands)

Teacher: Why?

Joey: All the toilets were being used. But I peed in the hole in the ground.

Teacher: In the drain? Or (hopefully I think) the urinal? (Does a 6 year old know the word urinal?)

Joey: No, on the floor.

At this point, I sought help. I was not in the frame of mind to deal with this strange 6-year old logic. After a suitable punishment (mom called) I had to talk to him about the appropriate places to pee. "After all," I said, "Should I come to your house, and pee on the floor?" "No," he says. Well maybe I reached him.

Can you see why FIRST GRADE is hard? Accidents I can deal with, but On Purposes? No Child Left Behind doesn't mention this at all!!

But don't fret, it is getting better and nobody else has peed on the floor. Except my dog.


Anonymous said...

Dogs can be such pricks... my female dog has surprised me twice this week by pooping on my black floor rug. That is not the kind of surprise I like waking up to!

I applaud you for having the patience to teach small children :] I have some interest in teaching, but I've always felt like I'd do so much better with high school age students. Kids just have so much energy, I don't know if I could keep up!

Unknown said...

You deserve an award for teaching, let alone the little tikes. I'm sure you don't get paid to teach kids where to pee!

Catherine said...

Hang in there. It does sound challenging. Boys, love to find all the places their hose can work in!

Cristin said...

My son pees everywhere... but he keeps it outside... he likes to pee on my car.

I couldn't teach anyone, let alone little kids....may the force be with you.